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Have you ever wondered why things aren’t going as planned? What did you think was the cause? The truth is that most times, we are the ones that do sabotage our chances to succeed. Of course, you won’t want to hinder your progress on purpose; however, the reality is that your behaviour could be the reason why you are feeling stuck in life. Our behaviour is often the road blocker, keeping us away from the path of success and hindering us from making progress in life.
PS: I want you to take your time to read this article. Remember to bookmark this page so that that you can easily conitnue reading from where you stopped.
Two friends went fishing. They were both using the same fishing bait, yet one wasn’t catching anything while the other had already caught three (3) fish. The one who wasn’t catching any fish started feeling frustrated. She tried to remove the hook from the river, but she finds it difficult to pull it out. She then decided to abandon the hook and line, and just go home. The stone near the river stopped the line from entering the river. A woman saw the line, picked it up and tried to pull it out of the river. It wasn’t easy, but she pulled, and to her surprise, the hook has caught a huge fish.
If only that child had tried harder to pull out the hook, or perhaps asked her friend to help her out, she would have been so proud of her achievement because her hook has caught a huge fish, a fish bigger than the 3 fish her friend caught.
I have come to realize that most times, things get tough when we are about to reach our goal. And it’s at this critical point that our behaviour assumes the deciding power.
Our behaviour would decide if we would progress or not.
Today, we will discuss the top 10 behaviours that will hinder your progress in life. You might not even be aware of these behaviours, and perhaps you do it unconsciously. But whatever the case might be, it is time to watch out for these top 10 behaviours and start taking conscious effort to change those behaviours so that you can progress in life.
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What is progress in life?
Progress in life is all about experiencing change; it is the process of gradually improving or moving forward or getting nearer to achieving a goal. Making progress means that you are advancing, growing, and improving. When you are making progress in life, you will realize that your status or situation will change. Therefore, if you are not experiencing change, then it means you are not progressing.
It’s just like an athlete running 10, 000 meters. At the beginning of the race, he/she is all fired up and determined to win the race. The morale is high, the energy is positive, and the motivation is genuine. As the athlete keeps moving forward, the athlete will discover that he/she has left some distance behind and is gradually moving forward towards the destination (end goal). If the athlete keeps going, despite being tired, the athlete will continue to make progress, and as soon as he/she reaches the finish line, the athlete will rejoice for successfully achieving the goal.
Therefore, progress is the connection between your current state and your goal. For example, if you are at point A and want to reach point C, everything you do or everything that happens from when you are at point A to reach point C is defined as progress.
What does progress mean to you?
Your progress is dependent on your goal (what you want to achieve). If you don’t have a goal, how can you measure if you are making progress or not? Progress is made when there is a goal to achieve. So, what are your goals in life? What dream do you want to achieve? What life do you want to live? If you have figured these things out, we can talk about making progress towards your goals.
It is important to have a dream/ goals for your life. If you don’t know what you want to do in life, you will be living a meaningless life. It’s OK if you are not sure of what you want to do yet, but don’t be clueless. You have to start working on discovering your inner-self and understand what you really want to do in life. I recommend you read: How To Find Your Purpose And Passion In Life Immediately
Let’s assume your goal is to sail. Now, you have a goal, what will progress mean to you? First, you will have to decide if you can sail or not. Oh, you realize that you don’t know how to sail, so what will you do? You have decided to enrol in a basic sailing class, and you have started taking classes for 10 full days. But you still can’t sail. You are yet to get your first on-the-water lesson. So, what will you do next to achieve this goal? You will have to put yourself out there to get your first sailing experience.
Your first sailing experience didn’t go well as expected.
During your time on the boat, you fell overboard. Thank God for the life jacket your instructor made you wear. Now, you are thinking that learning how to sail is a ridiculous idea for you. You want to give up on the idea, but your instructor motivated you and was patient with you. The instructor encouraged you to learn at your own pace. After many failed attempts, you eventually could sail a boat. Yippee! You can now steer your own little ship across the vast blue ship.
What progress has been made? Progress is a journey. It is the journey towards your purpose or goal. From the moment you decided to sail to the moment you eventually could sail a boat, progress was made. Every single effort you put into making that sailing goal of yours a reality is called PROGRESS. The classes you took, the failure you encountered, the self-doubt you battled with, the reawaken motivation and eventually, the successful sailing of your boat is what progress entails.
How progress happens in your life
Progress happens when you start taking action. If you wish to live a successful life, but all you do is to always fantasize about that big life you want to live without taking any action towards making it happen, you will discover that your life will be a summary of fantasies.
After deciding on the goal (s) you want to achieve or the things you want to do, the next thing is to start taking action. If you do nothing, don’t expect anything good. The difference between good things and bad things is that good thing doesn’t happen just like that, whereas bad things happen just like that. A weed will grow just like that on a plot of land that has been abandoned, but you shouldn’t expect that apples will grow just like that on the abandoned plot of land. If you want good things in life, you have to take actions to make it happen.
To make progress in life, you have to decide always to take actions towards your goals, no matter what challenges you are faced with or the obstacles you have to overcome. Progress in life happens as you continue to take actions towards your purpose or goal. Your actions will accumulate to a wealth of experience and keep pushing you gradually towards your end goal.
Every action you take is a step directed towards making progress in life.
Why progress is important
You might be wondering, why is making progress important? Oh, do you remember when you were just a baby, and your only way to express yourself or needs was to cry? Now, let assume you didn’t make progress, and after spending 30 years on earth, you remain as the baby you were, who can’t express his/her self clearly. Every one of your age mates is now talking, driving, sitting, walking etc. but there you are, even at age 30, all you can do is cry and wear pampers. Haha, I’m sure you don’t even want to imagine such a life. That’s just to show you why progress is so important in life. Now you know why you have to make a conscious effort to see that you are making progress in life.
So, why do we need progress?
Progress is all about growth, advancement, betterment, improvement and development. You don’t want to be as dumb as you were yesterday. You don’t want to be as poor as you were yesterday and of course, you don’t want to be irrelevant as you were yesterday. So, what will make your situation or status to change? Only progress will make it happen. If only you can make progress, then your life can change for the better.
When you start making progress, it is important to measure your progress because it will motivate you to do better and achieve more success. Do you want to know the secret of progress? Here’s the secret: When progress is measured, progress improves. The more you measure your progress, the more you get inspired, and the more progress will be made. Can you recall when your parents promise to give you incentives for doing a task? You become energized to do that task as quickly as possible. Progress is the incentive you need in life to help you achieve success faster.
How to measure your progress in life
So how can you measure your progress? I will outline steps to measure your progress.
- Set your end goal (SMART goal).
- Decide on what to do to make it happen.
- Break down your end goal into a mean goal.
- Break down big tasks in your mean goal into sub-tasks.
- Track your time, energy and resources you put into your process goal.
- Tract your overall movement towards your end goal.
- Celebrate small victories and small wins.
- Hold yourself accountable to achieve your end goal.
End goal defines your outcome. It is the goal you want to achieve eventually.
Mean goal defines your process. It is the goal you put in place in order to achieve your end goal. Mean goal is one of many paths you are willing to take to reach your end goal.
9 Signs you are not making progress in your life.
Are you making progress in life? You are not sure if you are making progress in life or not. You are wondering, how can I know if I am truly making progress or not? I’m sure you know that doctors will give you symptoms/ signs to look out for every illness. As a life coach, I will give you 9 signs to look out for in your life; signs that might indicate that you are not making progress in life.
1. You are in your comfort zone
Oh, how you love your comfort zone; it makes you feel safe and comfortable. You don’t want to deal with any discomfort in life. You don’t want to move anything into action because that requires energy and you are not ready to spend your energy. In fact, you are afraid of trying new things, forgetting that dreams are made in the unknown.
You assume that your comfort zone will make you happy since you feel comfortable there, but now you wonder why you are feeling discontent and unfulfilled. You are wondering why you can’t get what you desire. It is not farfetched. If you don’t step outside your comfort zone, how will you be able to discover your true passion, unleash your full potential, accomplish your goals, make progress and find happiness?
Progress is about movement; moving forward in life. And how can you move forward if you have decided to stay permanently in a stagnant situation? Staying in your comfort zone makes you settle for less because you won’t have the opportunity to experience new things and advance in life. Read: Step Outside Your Comfort Zone
2. You lack motivation
You have so many brilliant ideas in your head, but you lack the motivation to bring those ideas out of your head. Or maybe you are the type who starts to work on your ideas/ goals, but as soon as you encounter challenges or obstacle, you immediately start losing motivation. You are not willing to reassure yourself, and you can’t talk yourself into pulling through.
You are always waiting for influence from other people or situations before acting. The truth is that getting motivation from outside is good, but that will fade away if your self-motivation isn’t strong and well-established. If you cannot encourage yourself to keep going even when it feels challenging, how will you progress in life? Read: Self-Motivation Explained + 100 Ways To Motivate Yourself
3. You are not willing to learn
You keep holding on to the knowledge of the past, and you are not willing to refresh your knowledge. This is because you don’t see a need to learn new ways of doing things. But, you forget that everything has an expiring date, which means that the knowledge you are holding on to will soon become outdated if you don’t update it.
Life is advancing, and if you refuse to update your knowledge, how will you progress in life? There was a time when door-to-door marketing was the only way to market your goods and services, but today, with the help of digital marketing, you can reach out to millions to billions of people around the world. Your refusal to learn the latest skills or knowledge relating to your goals or field will definitely hinder your growth.
Oh, you don’t want to task your brain. You are comfortable with the little you know, but you wonder why you are not having amazing results or why you are not outstanding from others. How will you, if you continue to avoid challenges and not willing to learn? Embracing challenges makes you learn and grow, thus accelerate your progress in life. Read: 11 Benefits To Learning Something New
4. You leave life to chance
You don’t have a plan for your life, so you are just living the way you see it. Perhaps, you so much believe in the saying that “what will be will be” and so you are not doing anything, in particular, to get what you want in life. Instead of taking massive action to achieve your goals, and seize opportunities as they come, you are simply standing around waiting for a miracle to happen.
Yeah, what will be will be, but the question is will ‘what will be’ be pleasant for you? If you leave life to chance, life won’t give you what you deserve; instead, it will give you whatever is available (that’s what WILL BE for you). You do not plant any seed, and you keep saying what will be will be. Sure, don’t be surprised to see weeds grow on your plot of land, after all, what will be will be.
Life has a plan; it has its principles. One of the principles is whatever you sow; you will reap. Nothing in life happens by chance. Everything happens for a purpose (a plan). Therefore you can’t afford to continue to live your life without a plan. This is because you will lose focus of your potentials and lack the motivation to demand what you deserve in life.
Maybe you are tired of having plans because your plans never work, and your expectations always lead to disappointment. I understand how you feel, but you will feel much worse if you stop planning your life because you won’t make progress. Do you know what you should do? You should do your own best and then leave the rest. Read: Don’t Leave Life To Chance: Surefire Tips To Plan For Success
5. You don’t take responsibility for your life
You are always finding someone to blame for this and that, and for everything that goes wrong in your life. Every time, you would blame your parents, country, friends, gender, environment, siblings, society etc. But you are not ready to take responsibility for anything.
It is everybody’s fault that you are not being productive and not living your dream life. You always find excuses for everything and about your choices in life.
You have created a new world for yourself in your fantasy land where all you do is wish. Your daily thought routine is ‘I wish I have this; I wish I have that.’ Just mere wishing is your area of specialization. You can’t see the bigger picture, so you are even clueless about where and when to start living your own life and how to take responsibility for your own actions. Experience is the best teacher, but if you keep shifting blames to others, how will you learn and progress in life? Read: How To Take Responsibility For Your Life: 21 Essential Tips
6. You are impacted by the opinion of others:
Whenever you want to do something, the first thing you think about is what people will say. If you share your idea or goal with your family or friends or others, whatever they think or say is what you hold as a fact. If you are told that your goal doesn’t make sense, you start to believe that your goal doesn’t make sense indeed, forgetting that your goal wasn’t supposed to make sense to them in the first instance. It is only meant to make sense to you because it is your own goal and that is what you want to do with your life.
If you keep letting other people’s opinions guide your life, how will you be able to make decisions for yourself and live the life you want? As long as other’s opinion impacts you, you won’t make progress in life. You will be tossed here and there, wasting your time on irrelevance. Read: Fear of What Will People Say: Greatest Dream Killer
7. You lack gratitude
You don’t see anything good about yourself or your situation because you are always focusing on what has not been done rather than being grateful for what you have and what has been accomplished thus far. Perhaps, you don’t also see the need to say ‘thank you’ to people who have helped you in one way or the other. You feel entitled and self-absorbed, so you forget your benefits and that of your benefactors. Yet, you are wondering why you feel like your life is stagnant. Common, your lack of gratitude will cost you more than you can imagine.
There are many things to be grateful for, if only you take a break from self-absorption. Gratitude makes you see opportunities and increase the quality of your life. If you are not grateful for whom you are and where you are from, how can you advance to where you want to be? Read: 31 Benefits of Gratitude: The Ultimate Science-Backed Guide
8. You are jealous of others
You see life as a competition, and the success of others always threatens you. You are constantly comparing yourself to others, and you are filled with bitterness and jealously. Of course, you know it deep down within you that you are not genuinely happy for others when they share the good news.
Yet, you are wondering why your life isn’t improving. You are wasting quality time that you should have spent on achieving your goals; you are wasting it on jealousy and negative self-comparison. If you don’t get over your jealousy of other people’s success, you will find it difficult to progress in life. Divert all that negative energy into working on your own goals. When you celebrate others’ success, your success will come too because you have given due regard to success and want to honour you. Read: 12 Ways To Get Over Your Jealousy Of Other People’s Success
9. You have the ‘what if’ attitude
Every time you are about to work on a goal or idea, the first question you ask yourself is ‘what if’ and then you will drive your mind into that pit of negativity. You are always thinking of everything that would go wrong. You are overwhelmed with fear and anxiety. Even after you have started working on the goal, you are still thinking of ‘what if.’
You should know that boldness is not the lack of fear; it is doing what you have to do despite being afraid. It is about ignoring your negative thoughts because holding on to negativity can hinder your progress, so it is important to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. If you dwell so much on negativity, how will you make positive advancement in life? Read 8 Hidden Ways Your Attitude Affects Your Chances Of SuccessTop 10 #Behaviours That Will Hinder Your #Progress In Life Click To Tweet
Top 10 Behaviours That Will Hinder Your Progress In Life
What behaviours of yours are stopping your progress right now? I will share with you the top 10 behaviours that will hinder your progress in life.
Remember I talked about an athlete running 10, 000meters. When he or she starts running, morale and motivation are very high. As soon as the athlete gets to the middle of the race, his/her motivation becomes questionable. The athlete energy drops, and he/she starts struggling to make it to the finish line. Either the athlete gets to the finish line or not, will now depend on the athlete behaviour.
Your behaviour has the power to define your life.
So, let’s talk about the top 10 behaviours that will actually hinder your progress in life. I will start with the least behaviour.
10. Setting your gaze too high
The possibility that you are not even aware that this behaviour hinders your progress is very high. Of course, you believe that you have to set the standard high, which definitely is a good thing. However, setting your gaze too high is like building a house without foundation. Are you confused? Let me further explain.
Let’s assume you started a business, and you aim to earn a profit of 3,000 USD that month. Now, you have a goal you are working towards, and you are determined to achieve it. You got busy looking for a contract that would make you earn 3,000 USD as profit for that month. You start sending proposals to big companies. Of course, it is only reasonable to think that the well-established companies can allocate a big contract that will let you make a profit of 3,000 USD. However, because the competition is very high, the chance that the management will review your proposal is very slim. There are many well-known companies that have more reputation than yours who also sent in their proposal. The month will end before you know it, and you won’t have anything to show for it.
Yes, you have truly worked so hard, writing and sending more than 10 proposals, engaging in various meetings and looking for leads. However, everything ends up in frustration because nothing works as planned. Do you know why you have nothing to show for your hard work? It’s your behaviour; you set your gaze too high.
Setting your gaze too high will make you lose out
The fact that 3,000 USD is your goal doesn’t mean that you should set your gaze on it. That goal should be your endpoint, not your current gaze. The smaller companies you ignored could have helped you to achieve that goal. If you submitted your proposal to those smaller companies, the chances you would get the contract are very high because the competition is low. Yeah, for sure you won’t earn 3,000 USD profit from just one contract. However, you still have the chance to achieve your goal.
Let’s assume you submitted 10 proposals to the smaller companies and 6 hired you. And you earned a min of 500 USD as profit from each contract. That means at the end of the month; you would have earned 3,000 USD. Not only would you have achieved your end goal that way, but you will also have gained lots of experience, and your client database would increase as well. More so, you could ask the 6 clients to review your work, which will help increase your reputation. And do you want to know the sweetest thing about this? In no time, your chance to win a contract from the bigger companies will increase because your reputation has increased.
Learn to always take a step at a time
If you set your gaze too high, it will lead to frustration. It will make you lack gratitude to acknowledge how far you have come. And lack of gratitude always leads to depression. If your goal is to climb to the top of the mountain, concentrate on the moment for now. This is because if you lose a step, you will fall.
Also, take time to look down (look at the distance you have covered already) and appreciate the accomplishment you have made (celebrate your progress). This will motivate you to keep going until you reach the top.
It is overwhelming to set your gaze too high, so don’t do it. It will hinder your progress in life.
If you make your end goal your present priority, it will either slow down your progress or stop it completely. Your journey (path) towards achieving your goal should be your present priority, and your end goal should be the reward (outcome).
9. Putting your goal off until someday
Oh, you think I’m referring to procrastination? Well, yes, I am. But I’m also referring to another thing. I am referring to the feeling of “I’m not ready now,” I bet you know that feeling. The truth is that procrastination could delay your success. But far from procrastination, is the feeling that you are not ready now. The feeling of ‘I’m not ready now’ is much worse than procrastination because, for procrastination, your mind is already made up that you are going to do that thing, it is just that you keep postponing it. But for ‘I’m not ready now,’ it means you have already excused yourself completely from doing that thing.
You currently have an idea, but you tell yourself the idea is for the future. Really? Common. If you have an idea, start working on it now. Don’t wait until later. Do you know why? This is because ideas are like seeds that need time to germinate and grow. The earlier you plant it, the better. If you think you are not ready now, what makes you think you will be ready in the future?
For example, your goal is to start selling designer clothes. You tell yourself you will start next month, so you didn’t do anything about it because you are waiting for that time to come. Then after one month, you realize that it is not possible to start just like that. You have not even done any market research on it. You haven’t done anything, so you postpone it to next month and then another month again. To tell you the truth, you won’t progress with such behaviour; you would only be wasting your valuable time.
Start working on your goals now.
More so, I want you always to remember that the life we live doesn’t give anyone guarantee; you don’t know when you will take your last breath on earth. So make good use of your time now that you still have it. Whatever you want to do, please do it now.
Should I tell you the truth?
You feel like you are not ready now because you are afraid of the future. You are afraid it might not work out. You are afraid it will fail. Trust me, it is OK to be afraid, but again, you don’t have to be afraid because nothing in life is certain. When you sleep at night, it’s not certain that you will wake up the next day. But you go ahead to sleep anyways. So, why not go ahead with your goal? Stop putting it off until someday.
You have to take the first step now. Yeah, you have to take the step to find out if it will work or not. Life is a risk, so take the calculated risk. Stop looking for an excuse to justify why you should put off your goal for someday because when it comes to giving excuses, you will always find an excuse. Excuses like I don’t have the skills, I am not talented enough, I don’t have the resources, I don’t have the connection…blablabla. You could write down those things you think you need and start working on it. If you don’t have the skills, then start learning it now. Just make sure you are not putting your goal off for someday.
Start working on your goal now and when you get to that bridge, you will cross it.
If the goal is time-related, it’s OK to schedule it for that time. Scheduling your goal is different from putting off your goal for someday. For example, you want to start selling Christmas trees. Of course, that goal is time-related (Christmas season). So, you schedule that goal till Christmas season. However, you can also start working on the process now. [/su_note]
8. There is something you can’t let go of
You know something is holding you back. It would be best if you let go of it, but you can’t. No, it is not that you can’t let it go; you won’t because you keep holding on to it. Common, you have to change this behaviour of holding on to things that aren’t productive for you. For example, your friends don’t support you in anything relating to your life goals. Anytime you share your goals with them, they either show a lack of interest or become pessimistic about it. You know they are not helping you progress in life, but you still hold on to them. Why? Perhaps, you are afraid of being alone.
Another example, you know you hate your current job. It makes you feel frustrated and hopeless. You know you should let it go, but you are holding on to that job. Why? Perhaps, you are afraid of starting a new career or afraid of not getting another job. I could give another example; your partner is always demanding. You give everything in the relationship. And you are feeling drained, unappreciated and empty. You know you should let go, but you are still holding on to that relationship. Why? Perhaps, you are afraid that no one is ever going to love you.
You keep holding on to these things that are toxic to your development and hindering your progress. You know you should let go, but you are not letting go just because you are afraid of the uncertainty. But isn’t life all about uncertainty? That behaviour of not letting go will surely hinder your progress in life.
How to let go
OK, I think I can hear you say “Ayobami, I know I should let go, and I want to let go, but I don’t know how to let go?” That’s OK. I’m glad you are willing to let go. So, I’m going to give you steps on how to let go:
1. Write down your goals:
Please write down your goals in life and rearrange them according to how important they are to you. What are the goals you cannot compromise? What are the goals you know you MUST achieve and not you should achieve?
2. Think of the current barriers to achieving those goals:
What and who is making it difficult for you to achieve your goals? For example, if your friends always make you feel like you don’t deserve good things or your partner’s ‘I don’t care attitude’ is eating into the time and resources you should be spending on achieving your goals.
3. Analyse your barriers:
Analyse each barrier you have written and see if you can change the barriers to achieving your goals. For example, your friends could be acting that way towards you because they don’t know how important that goal meant to you. So, you could show your displeasure to them and voice out your feelings. Perhaps, they would be willing to adjust their attitude and start supporting you. You could explain to your boss at work that you don’t like going on field trips and that you would prefer to have office tasks assigned to you instead. Perhaps, your boss could be understanding and make some adjustments.
4. Determine if the barriers can be changed
If you know that the barriers to your goals will always remain a barrier or that after you have expressed yourself clearly, nothing changes, then it is time to make the hard final decision: the decision to let go.
5. Make your pros and cons
Make the pros and cons of that thing you are about to let go. For example, you are about to break up with your unsupportive friends. Think of the pros and cons of letting go of your friends. E.g. if I break up with my friends, I won’t have anybody to go to the bar with, and I will feel lonely (that’s the cons). If I break up with my friends, I will stop working so hard to feel validated by them, I will be able to pursue my goals, and I could even make new friends along the way (that’s the pros). The next thing is to weigh your pros and cons and then make a decision on it.
6. Weigh your pros and cons
Even if the cons outweigh the pros, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t let go of it, that should only inform you of what you are getting yourself into and see if you can cope or not. And if you can’t cope with the cons, for now, then you could buy yourself little time. For example, you still hate your job, and it is a barrier to your goals. However, you know you can’t cope with the cons of letting go of your job. This is because the pay from the job is what you use to settle your house rent, feed and clothe. You currently don’t have any other alternative, and you are quite sure that your basic needs won’t be meant if you quit. Then it will be stupid to quit right away.
I know some people might say you have to do what you have to do. But I am a practical person, and it doesn’t make sense to make such a move because it will make your situation much worse and could have a stronger negative effect on your mental health. In such a situation, what you should do is to make a sacrifice.
7. Make sacrifice
The sacrifice is not for that obstacle; it is for yourself. As I said regarding that job, what you should do is start sacrificing yourself by looking for another side job and start to sacrifice your time as you work both jobs together. I started my dream business when I was still working for a real estate company. Every day, after I get home by 8 pm, I would push myself to start working on my side job for the next 6hrs, and I would sleep around 2 am only to wake up around 5-6 am.
It was really tough, but I had to do it because I have a plan in mind (goal). I know I have to sacrifice myself now for my future goal. And as soon as I saw that my dream business is financially sufficient enough to an extent, I resigned from my job (I let go completely).
8. Decide based on your priority
Let what you consider priority help you to make a wise decision to let go of things hindering your progress in life.
9. Stand by your decision
Always remember that you have to take your stand after when you make your final decision.
No going back. If you had let go of that thing because it is a barrier or obstacle to your goals, then don’t ever go back to pick it up again because a barrier will always remain a barrier. In life, you have to fight for what you want. Fight for what you deserve.
Do you know why you shouldn’t hesitate to let go of those things that are hindering your progress in life? It is because everything has a replacement. You can replace your friend. You can replace your job. Even your family can be replaced if you want because family isn’t defined by blood. You can replace your spouse. You can replace your career. But there is one thing you can never replace ‘your LIFE’. So, stop holding on to things that are letting you lose your life (causing you depression, sadness, frustration, mental sickness, lack of confidence, hopelessness, pain, failure, retardation etc) when those things can actually be replaced.[/su_note]
7. Going on and off
Hmmm, this is another culprit hindering your progress. You are not consistent with your goals. Today, you are so determined to work on your goal and tomorrow you stop working on it. Yet, you are wondering why you are not getting a result. Of course, you won’t get the result.
Life itself is consistent. It gives you air to breathe regularly. If life decides to stop to give you air today and says it will give you air tomorrow. What do you think will happen to you today? Or let’s say you ate this month and decide not to eat anything for the next coming month, what do you think will happen?
Goals are not something you go on and off with if truly you want a deserving result.
For example, if your goal is to lose weight and start working out, and then stop your fitness program and resume again after 3 months, what do you think will happen? Do you think you will see the result by going on and off? If you are really serious about progressing in life, stop going on and off.
You have to be determined and consistent with your goals.
You have to keep watering your seed until the harvest day. Stop the behaviour of going “on and off” because it will slow down your progress. You can’t pause your breath for so long and still expect to be alive. It’s not possible. It is ok to take a break, but take a break within your goal schedule.
Even after achieving your goal, you have to work on maintaining it as well by being consistent because you can also lose what you have worked so hard to get. If you don’t maintain your success, you might you lose it. If an Olympic gold medal winner refuses to maintain that success, they will lose it to others working hard to get that success and that Olympic gold medal winner will automatically become an ex-champion. Don’t be an ex-champion because it is not pleasant.
You have to keep working to maintain your success
I remember when I decided to have a flat stomach. I started doing abs exercises regularly, and I was so determined to make it happen. After months of consistently doing exercise, I achieved my goal. I was happy to see the result of my hard work, and I was so proud of myself and my physique. You know, I would stand in front of the mirror only to admire myself. I almost toast myself (wink). And then, I did something stupid. I thought that since I have achieved my goal, I can stop doing exercise. I felt it was time for me to take a very long break (what a stupid thing to do, right?). Before I knew it, my stomach started protruding again. All my previous hard work to get a flat stomach became useless. Of course, I had to start all over again.
6. Viewing mistake as a failure
This is one behaviour that kills our motivation. Virtually everyone is guilty of this behaviour. Before, I use to view a mistake as a failure too, but I later realize the damage this behaviour is causing me, and I learned and improved my life.
You don’t have to view your mistake as a failure. Do you know why? This is because a mistake is totally different from failure. Everyone makes a mistake. Mistake is meant to be made if you are learning. Committing a mistake is a telltale sign that you are attempting to progress in life. So relax, and stop thinking that you are failing whereas you are only learning. Mistake adds to your wealth of experience. It helps you to know what doesn’t work. When you are working on your goals, be rest assured that mistake is bound to happen because you don’t know it all. However, learning from that mistake makes you better at what you do.
Stop viewing mistake as a failure, but I want you to view failure as a mistake. This is a mind trick I discovered a long time ago, and it has been working for me. When I fail, and it is obvious that I have failed, I would tell myself that my failure is a mistake. I would deliberately view my failure as a mistake. And of course, when I have indeed made a mistake, I won’t see it as a failure. My mistake remains a mistake, but my failure is a mistake. This mind trick will help to keep you on track and motivate you to keep going after suffering any setback.
It is all about changing your perspective towards mistakes.
For example, you failed an exam, and that led to a carryover. Even though you have to retake that exam, please don’t see it as a failure. Your thought should be “I gave a wrong answer in the exam. It was a mistake, and I will correct it”. As simple as the sentence sounds, it’s very powerful. It will inspire you to retake the exam without fear. It will give you the right mindset to prepare for the exam again. And you will be able to achieve your goal.
Another example, you might have submitted the former proposal mistakenly instead of the latest one you worked on all night, and the organization turned down your proposal. Common, it’s a mistake for goodness sake. It’s not a failure. Yeah, I know you were turned down, but it is still not a failure, it was a mistake. You could say it is a costly mistake, but the fact remains that it is just a mistake and everyone makes mistakes. Now, you know better that you should always trash old proposal or rename it. You know better to engage in proper documentation. It’s just a mistake, not a failure, and you are willing to learn from it.
Don’t let anything discourage you from pursuing your goal. If you want to progress in life, you have to stop being hard on yourself because it won’t do you any good.
5. Seeking perfection
It is good to seek to be the best at what you do. However, the urge to always seek perfection will hinder your progress in life because it will focus on your weaknesses instead of your strengths. It will exaggerate your weakness and make you feel unworthy. Perfection is an illusion, and you shouldn’t let that illusion to hinder your progress. There is definitely no yardstick to measure perfection, so don’t focus on perfection. It would help if you focused on making progress instead. The truth is that as long as you are making progress, you will get better at whatever you do. Therefore, stop waiting to take action until you are ready. Take action now! Yeah, it might not look perfect now, but it will become perfect to your taste with time.
If you have a business idea, lunch it now. Don’t wait until the idea is perfect. When you launch it, you can start adding to it. There is always room for an update. You will get to scale up your business with time. In fact, when you launch it, even your customer/client will start giving you free ideas/suggestions that will bring in lots of money to your business. Ideas you didn’t even think of. When Google started, they don’t have all the features they have now. They grew with their goal. Stop the behaviour of seeking perfection before you pursue your dream. The right time to start anything is now!
Learn to grow with your goal. Don’t say I will wait for my goal to be perfect before I can start taking actions to achieve it.
4. Not acknowledging a tough time
Overconfidence can hinder us from progressing. It is good to have confidence that you are up to a task and handle whatever situation you face. But being overconfident about it will make you underestimate the challenges; hence you will fail because you didn’t prepare enough for it. When you set a goal, always think of the possible difficulties you might face with that goal. Oh, did you just say you don’t want to think of any difficulties because you are not pessimistic? Common, thinking of the possible difficulties you could encounter when pursuing your goal, doesn’t mean you are pessimistic, it means you are realistic.
If you want to achieve a real goal, you have to be real in your approach.
No goal is without a challenge
The earlier you identify the challenge, the better for you. When you know the possible difficulties you can encounter with your goals, you can also empower yourself to overcome those difficulties even before you are faced with it. Not acknowledging that tough time will come as you pursue your goals, makes you live in a fantasy world and everything crumbles as soon as you are deported to the real world. You will feel so frustrated, and you will give up on your dream because you were not prepared for the possible challenges. Don’t ever underestimate how hard your goal could be in achieving it. When you acknowledge a tough time, you will be inspired to have backups with your plan and approach towards your goal.
3. You don’t know how to say no
If you are the type that says yes to everything, then you don’t have to wonder why you are not progressing in life. It’s clear already; you are the enemy of your own progress. For goodness sake, you can’t keep saying yes to everything and expect that you will progress in life. Even Jesus said no to some things, yet you are not Jesus, so why is it a crime for you to say no? Stop saying yes to everything, you have to learn to say no too. It is imperative to learn how to turn some things down.
For example, you can’t continue to dedicate all your time and resources to helping others because you also have your life to help. It’s not selfish; it’s called “living a healthy life.” You don’t have to take that project if it costs you more than you bargain for.
You have the same 24hrs as they do, now imagine you spending all your hours helping someone achieve their goal, what about your own goals? What time would you have left to work on your own goal? I am a life coach, and I am passionate about helping others achieve their goals. I am always happy to help others and make them successful. However, I also need time for myself, so I do turn down some clients at times. In fact, I have my free days to work on myself, my dreams and future.
Take charge of your life
Don’t be afraid of what people will say when you say no because you are the one in charge of your life. Politely turn down the offer that will hinder you from working on your goals. Don’t exchange your goal and your sanity for anything. It doesn’t worth it. Self-love isn’t selfishness, so don’t be afraid to say no when you have to say no.
2. Giving up before you see the result
Success doesn’t happen suddenly. Yeah, you might realize a sudden success, but the truth is that the success didn’t happen suddenly, it has been taking root underground gradually. Success is like the Chinese Bamboo Tree. Of course, you might have heard this story of the Chinese bamboo tree. When a Chinese bamboo seed is planted, nothing is seen for almost 5 years. The place where the bamboo was planted looks barren for years because the seed is very hard, so it takes time to break through the soil and grow.
However, in the fifth year (5), the seed breaks through from the ground and suddenly grows to a height of 90 feet within 5-6 weeks. When it starts growing, it almost as if you can actually see it growing in front of your eyes because in a day it can grow up to 48 inches and can reach a maximum growth rate of 39 inches per hour for a short period of time. And once it starts growing, it is hard to get rid of it.
If you ask someone who passed through that farm 6 weeks ago, He/she will say that bamboo just happened to appear there suddenly. But, if you ask the farmer, he/she will tell you how many years the bamboo took to grow. Sometimes when people see someone’s success, they think the person became successful suddenly, and that’s because they don’t know what that person has gone through in life.
Know how long it will take your goal to be achieved
Let’s go back to the Chinese bamboo tree. Do you know that if the bamboo farmer stops watering it and gives up, the farmer will lose it all? But that didn’t happen and do you know why? The farmer already knows what he/she was getting into when they decided to grow the Chinese bamboo tree. He/she already have the idea of how long it will take to start seeing results. Likewise, you have to really know your goals.
You need to understand what it will take and how long it will take for your goals before seeing results. When you have an idea of how long your goal will take, the nurturing period (watering the seed, clearing the weed etc.) won’t be frustrating. E.g. A pregnant woman is aware that it will take 9 months before she can hold her baby in her hands, so even at 8 months, she’s not concerned about the fact that she is yet to achieve her goal.
There are many approach to achieve a goal
If you know your goal or project well enough and know what to do to reach the end goal, you will be inspired to keep going even when the going gets tough. Revisit your goals when you feel like giving up, and you will find the courage to move one. Think of the reason for the goal (let it reassure you to believe in your goal), inform yourself about the necessary process involved to achieve the goal, and think of other possible approaches available to achieve your goal. Yeah, think of other alternative approaches to achieve your goal.
Sometimes, you don’t have to grow the Chinese bamboo tree from the seed (you don’t have to wait for 5 years). You can grow bamboo from cuttings, roots and rhizomes too. In order words, be smart with your approach to your goal! You should read: 3 Steps That Will Help You To Reach Your Goal
Don’t give up just because you are not seeing result yet
You have to understand the power of the ‘process’ of success. Trust me, something is happening, something you are not aware of yet. Keep doing what you do, and don’t give up. Every success has a story; you will also tell your story. Yeah, it will happen. Therefore, don’t be discouraged. Keep pressing on. Don’t let that behaviour of giving up hinder your progress in life. You are very close to your success. Just one more step, one more push and you will hit it.
Please confirm your goal. If the reason for your goal is wrong, then there is no point spending time doing the wrong thing, and somehow be expecting results. Quit every goal that doesn’t have a genuine reason. Stop wasting your time on those goals and start something new. [/su_note]
1. You doubt your own abilities
This is the number one behaviour that hinders your progress in life. Self-doubt is a deadly disease of the mind. It kills dreams, potentials and ambitions.
Self-doubt makes you hide your head even when you are wearing a crown.
Why do you doubt your abilities? Do you think you are not good enough? Then try it out. Yeah, try it to see if truly you are not good enough. I bet when you try it out, you will realize you are more capable than you could think of. Take that first step. Just try it. There is no harm in trying. Believe me; you are good enough. And if there is anything to improve, you only need to learn to become an expert.
It would help if you stopped doubting your own abilities because it will hinder your progress. If there is anything you should doubt, then you should doubt your doubt. Do you ever doubt your ability to breathe? Breathing comes to you naturally, except if there is a health issue. You should express your abilities naturally without fear or doubt. You are breathing for a purpose, and if you don’t doubt your ability to breathe, then you shouldn’t doubt your ability to fulfil your purpose.
Always seek knowledge and start working with your inner world. It will help to remove self-doubt, low self-esteem and negativity. You should learn to restructure your thought and grow your mindset. Gaining more knowledge helps to build your self-confidence and self-esteem. Always be willing to learn and be ready to apply whatever you learn because knowledge without application is a total waste. You might want to read: How To Overcome Your Low Self-Esteem Quickly Like Magic
Progress is all about experiencing change. It is the journey from where you are to where you are going to, and this journey is affected by your behaviour. Your behaviour will determine if you will get to your destination (achieve your goals) or not. Therefore, it is important to identify those behaviours that would hinder your progress in life, so that you can adjust your behaviour accordingly and position yourself for success.
Nothing can stop you because you are smarter than whatever is out there to stop you.
You deserve to succeed in life; don’t let anybody tell you otherwise. And nothing can stop you from being successful, except you choose to stop yourself. To progress in life, all you have to do is to set your goals and start taking actions towards achieving your goals. Get rid of all the top 10 behaviours that hinder your progress in life. Pursue your dream and make it happen.
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Copyright by Ayobami Abiodun