We all have a different attitude towards life. Our motive, mentality and life goals are conveyed via our attitude. What is your attitude? Attitude makes a big difference in our lives depending on how we structure it (positively or negatively). Our attitude determines our success or failure in life.
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Attitude: Game changer
A community heard that the neighbouring community members are planning to displace them from their homes; take away their lands and properties. Everyone in the community was afraid because those who are coming to fight them are far stronger than them.
The community has no defence mechanism put in place (no soldiers and no fighting equipment). For years, they have thought that no one would ever pick interest in their land because they have nothing. However, their neighbouring community suddenly saw an opportunity for territory expansion. The strong community was convinced that they will take over the land easily, considering the current state of the weak community.
When the armies of the strong community got there, they saw that everywhere was as silent as a graveyard. All the villagers were at home, behind the closed doors. The soldiers laughed and said among themselves “They have surrendered even before we got here. Now, we will take over their land and make them our slaves”.
They split into smaller groups and started to bring down the doors of the poor villagers. But something happened. Any door they force to open, tons of stones will roll down from the top and hit the soldiers. The force at which they hit the door to bring it down, is the same force at which they got hit by pieces of rolling rock. Many soldiers died instantly while some were injured.
The few soldiers who manage to escape the rolling stones were stoned to death by the villagers (who already had collected pieces of stones or rock in their house). The soldier’s swords, talent and experience in battle became useless.
Everything happened so fast, they never expected the weak community to fight back. They underestimated them because they had nothing but the villagers didn’t let themselves to be intimidated. Yes, it might seem like they had nothing, but they have numerous pieces of rocks in their community and they decided to use what they have regardless of what the situation requires.
Why this story?
You can be the most talented person in the world and yet still loses to life challenges (talent becomes useless) or you can have just a little spark of light and use it to light the world. The difference is your ATTITUDE.
Life will always test us with good times and bad times (dry season and the wet season is a constant in life), your attitude towards your situations will determine your success or failure.
What is Attitude?
Attitude is the combination of your emotion, belief, and behaviour towards something or someone. Attitude is like a cup of tea; you have milk and sugar added to your tea to give a great taste. The quantity of the milk and sugar you add to your tea will determine the final taste.
Your emotional state (feelings), your belief (thoughts you make real or accept as fact), and your behaviour (the way you act) define your Attitude. Therefore, Attitude isn’t independent; it is influenced by your emotion, your belief and your behaviour.
For example… wait a sec, let’s do it this way. I will explain ‘attitude’ with a play. I want you to be the actor in this play so you can understand it in full details. If you act it well, you will get an Oscar from me without going through the stress of nomination and voting. Hahaha.
You have been working on getting a contract worth 1 million dollars for the past 8 months. Today is the day you have been waiting for, the day to finally seal the deal. You have been given an appointment to meet with the CEOs and board of directors.
On your way for the appointment, your car suddenly developed a fault. Well, you decided to take Uber and have your mechanic to go pick the car where it broke down.
Halfway, Police hunt down the Uber taxi you took. According to the Police, an incident happened involving the plate number of the taxi and the driver must be taken in for interrogation. You didn’t care to know exactly the incident that has happened because you have a very important meeting to attend to.
You checked the time and realized that you have only 30 minutes left to the appointment. Do you feel anger? What do you feel? Do you feel frustration? Do you feel fear? (Emotional state).
You decided to take another Uber. Your mind is made-up; you won’t miss the appointment no matter what. Only a short distance away to your destination, the car in front of you crashes and left two cars in flames. It was a terrible accident and it resulted in a massive traffic jam.
You didn’t care to know if there were survivors or not. You got down from the car and decided to cover the remaining distance by running. When you checked the time and realized that you have only 5minutes left to the appointment.
What are you thinking about now? Do you think you can still make it? Do you think your enemies are at work? What are your thoughts? Do you think it’s bad luck? Do you think nothing ever goes as planned for you? (Belief).
You were already at the entrance of the organization. You ran up the stairs to the boardroom. Just when you are about to take a turn to your left and then open the door to the boardroom, you collided with the secretary holding a cup of coffee.
Coffee splashed in your eyes and on your white shirt. Your eyes hurt so much. You couldn’t open your eyes clearly. You’re a total mess! You struggled to check the time and realized that you have only 2 minutes left to appear for the appointment.
Will you still appear in front of the CEOs and Board of directors awaiting your arrival in the boardroom? Will you still have the confidence to pitch your project with a coffee-stained shirt and face? What will you do? Will you still put in the effort to ensure that you seal the deal? How will you act? (behaviour).
Whatever emotion you feel, whatever thought you entertain (good or bad), and whatever way you act (action or reaction) will determine your attitude. And your attitude will determine your success or failure.
You might want to read more on what’s an Attitude, Attitude definition psychology, concept of attitude, types of Attitude and components of attitude: Attitudes and Behavior in Psychology
Why attitude is so important
From the short film scripted by me above, I will help you understand why attitude is so important. If you already featured in my play above as the lead actor, by now you should have a better understanding of attitude meaning (the emotions, belief and behaviour).
Now, let’s go back to the play. Considering the challenges and difficulties faced, any human will be frustrated, angry and afraid of losing the 1 million dollars’ worth opportunity they’ve been working on for the past 8 months.
Whenever we encounter obstacles or challenges or hindrances to achieving our goals or dream, we tend to become emotionally stressed. Anxiety, depression, frustration and fear could get the best of us if we are not careful.
Due to emotional stress, we tend to start thinking lowly of ourselves, our goals, our dream and even our purpose in life. And of course, it could cost us our self-esteem, self-worth and self-confidence. We might start to lose faith in ourselves and question everything we ever believed in.
As self-doubt gradually sets in, negative attitude seeds have been planted. Then we start acting like it’s over like we had lost everything and there isn’t anything left to hold on to. We could easily get carried away in self-pity and forget that the earth doesn’t revolve around us.
We ignore the privilege we still enjoy (our breath), forgetting that a car crash just happened in front of us and left two cars in flames. What if it was our car in flames? What if there were no survivors and we die? Won’t the 1 million dollars’ worth of project be useless by then?
Does it really worth it to have a negative attitude towards life when life itself is very short and doesn’t give any guarantee? Think about that.
Attitude is so important because it determines the way you approach situations in your life. When faced with challenges, will you turn away and bury your head in shame? Or will you enter the boardroom with a coffee-stained shirt, make a joke out of it and proceed to deliver a mind-blowing presentation?
Right attitude gives the winning edge. It motivate you to strive for the best and helps you to keep your eyes on the prize. Someone with a winning attitude won’t give up when faced with challenges.
Positive vs negative attitude, what’s your choice?
The choice is yours! But remember, your choice will determine your success or failure. Having a positive attitude will empower you to take charge of your situation. It will give you the strength to dance in the storm, rather than being depressed and waiting for the storm to pass.
I recommend you read: 5 Reasons Why Positivity Is Absolutely Important For Success
What’s your attitude towards life?
Christy loves to stay indoors. She’s introverted and has only a few friends. Well, to be precise, she has only two friends.
Her friends practically dragged her to the beach for a birthday party. One of the rich popular girls in school is throwing a birthday party at the beach. Initially, Christy plan for that day was to stay at home as usual and read some novels. However, the plan changed.
At the party, Christy was enjoying herself. It’s been long she’s engaged in such fun activities. She was grateful her friends took her to the party.
The incidence at the party
Suddenly, Christy felt a grip on her right leg. She tried to move her leg under the water but she couldn’t. She felt a sharp pain and she screamed.
8 hours later, Christy woke up in the hospital bed. Her right leg has been amputated. She was attacked by a shark. Christy world suddenly became dark. She couldn’t believe that 8 hours ago, she was complete and whole.
She just couldn’t wrap her mind around what had happened. Oh, she wished if only she could turn back the hands of time, she would never have gone to the party. She blamed herself, blamed her friends and even despised them for dragging her to the party. If only she had stayed indoor, none of this would have happened, she thought.
She was to stay in the hospital for 6 days. Christy was depressed and full of regrets. She could see her hopes and dreams been chattered. She hated everyone, and everything, and felt like committing suicide.
The same day Christy was to be discharged from the hospital, something happened. She saw a tiny brown bug, walking on the table next to her bed. Christy decided to distract herself with it.
She rolled the bug to its back with a toothpick and watched it struggle to get on its feet again. When she saw that the bug was back to its feet and trying to walk away, she dragged it back with the toothpick and rolled the bug to its back again. The bug struggled again to get back to its feet.
Every time the bug gets back to its feet, Christy will roll it to its back again. She did these more than 20 times, yet the bug never gave up. She told the bug “you want to be stubborn right? I will take off your leg like mine was”.
She detached a pair of jointed legs and rolled the bug to its back. Again, the bug struggled and rolled back to its leg. She rolled it to its back again; the tiny bug didn’t give up struggling.
Though it became much more difficult for the bug to roll back to its legs, considering some of its legs missing. Yet, the bug did it. She saw the bug walking away and eventually, she decided to let it go.
Change of perspective
The attitude of the bug strikes her and got her thinking. If a tiny bug could be so optimistic to overcome the challenge, how much more she?
It was the first time she decided to change her approach to life. The first time she decided to confront her situation. She sincerely admits to herself that she was indeed happy her friends took her to the party before the ugly incidence happened.
This sincere admission helped her to stop despising her friends. How would they have known there was going to be a shark attack? It wasn’t their fault. She decided to change her attitude by developing a positive mental attitude towards her situation and life. Instead of continuously wallowing in regret and self-pity, Christy asked herself this question “what next?” and she made her choice.
When her family and friends came for her discharge from the hospital, Christy upbeat attitude shocked everyone. When Christy was interviewed, she said “that day at the hospital, I realize that the final result of my life depends on me. I have a choice to either let myself to be defeated in life or fight till I triumph. The tiny little bug challenged my attitude towards life” Today, Christy is living her dream as a neurosurgeon. She’s happily married with 3 kids.
There is no success without a challenge or obstacle.
What’s your attitude towards life? How do you treat your obstacle or challenge? Do you pick up yourself every time you fall? Or do you stay on the ground; after all, you have fallen already? Do you strongly believe your dream will come true no matter your current situation? Or do you think you are useless and will never make it in life?
How do you face your challenges? Do you strongly believe that you can do anything? Or do you think you are a failure? Do you believe that whatever situation you find yourself is temporary and so you will not let your situation to boss you around? Do you have a negative attitude towards life or a positive attitude towards life? What’s your attitude?
You might want to take a free attitude test online to have a better insight and understand your attitude towards life. I will recommend the following free tests.
How attitude affect success
Success depends on your attitude to either achieve your aim or not and your attitude fuels your motivation to pursue success.
Your mindset will determine how successful you will become. If you have a positive mindset, you will always be inspired to give your best until you achieve a desirable result.
Bad attitude makes success impossible to attain and sustain.
You can’t have a nonchalant attitude and lackadaisical attitude towards life and expect to be successful in life. The law of harvest applies to everything in life. If you don’t plant, you won’t reap. And if you decide to reap what others have planted, karma will surely get back at you.
You need to have a positive mental attitude and be optimistic about achieving your goal or aim. A right attitude to work and life will determine your reality.
Attitude definition is centred on mindset; therefore it is very important to be optimistic and assertive so as to avoid inadvertently sabotaging yourself.
Your perspective and how you think will determine how far you will go in life. Attitude is everything when it comes to achieving your goals, overcoming challenges and maintaining your success.
8 Hidden ways your attitude affects your chances of success
Most of us do think that we have a positive attitude and a great attitude towards life, but the reality is that there are hidden ways our attitude is sabotaging our chance to succeed without us knowing. So what are these hidden ways?
1. Hoarding Information:
Consciously or unconsciously (for some of us), we often hoard information. We are afraid that if we share our knowledge with others, our value will decrease and we won’t be relevant anymore (which isn’t true).
I realize that the main reason why people hoard information is that they are feeling insecure. Hoarding information is deeply rooted in insecurity. They don’t have enough confidence in their ability, potential, creativity and capability. Therefore, they always seek to hide the information they have. They want to be the only one who knows how to do something or knows everything about something so that they can assure themselves of success.
Unfortunately, this attitude doesn’t assure success; it rather hinders their growth in life and affects their chance of success.
Information is to be shared!
If you keep all the information to yourself, you will become a bin. Information is like a gift. Imagine you keep collecting and storing gifts in a room. That room will eventually become stuffy and jam-packed. In fact, it could become a home for rodents and cockroaches.
Now imagine you decide to start giving out some of those gifts to those who need it. Trust me, you will feel fulfilled anytime you remember you are the reason for the smile on little john’s face, and how happy Sarah was when you gave her that gift. You will be happier, knowing that you are influencing lives. You will also have more space to accommodate new gifts and get rid of those rodents and pests.
When your computer stores too much information, what happens? Your hard drive becomes full. Your computer will prompt you to remove some content to make memory space available.
If you refuse to clean up, then your computer starts to run too slowly. The same thing applies to real life. If you refuse to teach others what you know (hoarding information), your life will start to run slowly.
For example, you are a boss and you refuse to teach your employees how things should be done, you will find yourself doing everything in the company, whereas there are other more valuable things you could be doing with your time.
Your productivity starts to reduce and of course, your company revenue reduces as well. And then, what? You get frustrated. You shout at your employees because you don’t know why they are getting paid if they are doing nothing. And you keep questioning: why can’t I run a successful company? It’s because of your attitude towards work.
When you hoard information, you won’t even have the time to put the information to work for you because you are busy acquiring and safeguarding information instead of applying it.
If you must know, information changes with time and situation. The information you are hoarding might have become irrelevant and obsolete. But how will you know when you keep holding on to it?
Hoarding information will make you close-minded, and you won’t be able to learn new things. Hence, your chance of success is hindered. Then you start to wonder why James is getting all the success and recognition and you are not. It is because of your attitude.
Hoarding information doesn’t make you indispensable, sharing information does.
Your attitude is definitely affecting your chance of success. Therefore, if you want to be relevant and be successful, learn to share your knowledge with others. Don’t think that when you share your knowledge, you lose it. On the contrary, you stand to gain more by sharing your knowledge rather than hoarding it. You will have a better understanding of the topic of discussion and see more positive results.
[su_note note_color=”#66ffee”]IMPORTANT NOTE: Knowledge hoarding is normal but it is an attitude that can hinder us from progressing in life, therefore you have to learn to share your knowledge if you want to grow and become successful. However, not all knowledge is to be shared. Some Knowledge, if shared, has the potential to jeopardize your survival so that type of information should be kept secret. Also, at times, you have to permit others to learn from experience rather than just sharing information with them.[/su_note]
2. Reserving Creativity:
Most of us have the mentality that creativity can be used up. We feel like creativity is a moment and the moment should be kept for greater future use and is not to be wasted.
We have the opinion that creativity has an expiring date, so we are afraid of using it up so soon. That’s a lie! This attitude of reserving creativity actually kills creativity in us and hinders our chance to succeed in life.
I also once had this opinion about creativity. Anytime I write a mind-blowing poem or article, I tend to always keep it for future use. I’m always afraid that my next poem or article might not be as good as the ones I have just written so I often find myself waiting for a big moment to showcase my work. Looking for a big platform to publish my work.
Guess what! The big moment never came for years. Then, I had alone time with myself and entered a serious conversation with Ayobami (myself).
I thought “if I don’t showcase my work now, how can people know the level of my creativity? How can people know how good I am if they aren’t seeing anything from me? How will I make it big when they have no idea how my work looks like?
I realize that I’ve got to publish my work.
I told myself I have to showcase my creativity. Within me, I reasoned “Life is short. If I die today, who would see my work since I already kept them hidden somewhere. It means the time invested in creating my work will be useless as no one will ever get to see it.”
I finally decided that even if I don’t get money or fame from it, at least I deserve to express my creativity to the world. I owe it to the world. Someone should benefit from my creativity as I have also benefited from other’s creativity.
So, I took out my work and started publishing, first on social media. Before I started publishing my work, I don’t write that much because I’m always afraid that I won’t write as good as the ones I have written but after I started publishing my work. I started writing more in order to have more content to publish and share with others.
Then something happened!
The more I publish, the more I realize that my new article or poem is more creativity than the previous ones. It gets better with each work.
And sometimes, when I go back to my previous work (the work I initially thought was the peak of my creativity) I’m grateful I didn’t keep them for future use because I would be ashamed of them. Not that they aren’t good, but my level of creativity has increased with experience and showcasing those previous work as my present work will be unfair to my creativity level.
Instead of waiting for the big moment to express my creativity, I started using the platform I have access to. To my surprise, the big moments I was initially waiting (which never came then), started unfolding itself as various opportunities started opening for me.
Truth about creativity
Let me tell you the truth about creativity I was fortunate to uncover through experience. Creativity is not a reservoir so you don’t have to worry about hitting the bottom of the reservoir. You don’t have to take a bowl of water to bath when you need a bucket to take your bath. You don’t have to be mindful of your water usage. Creativity is like a river that its source never dries up. You can take as many quantities of water you want; it will keep flowing year in, year out.
The reservoir is artificial, but the river is natural. Your creativity is natural; it will only dry up when you stop breathing on earth. So, therefore start to showcase your creativity.
Honey, dare to express your creativity. If you don’t sing that song, how will the world know that you are the next Michael Jackson? If you don’t express the equation, how will the world know you are the next Albert Einstein?
You are a genius in your own world so, don’t hold back
Let the whole world enjoy the beauty of your creativity. Your success or failure is all about your attitude. Stop this attitude that hinders your chance to succeed. Put an end to reserving creativity for future use. Express your creativity, don’t hold back.
[su_note note_color=”#66ffee”]IMPORTANT NOTE: Reserving creativity will limit your ability and potential to be creative. Therefore, have an attitude of showcasing your creativity. However, at times some creativity is best showcased during its time. For example, showcasing a creative work meant for Christmas in June is a waste of creativity. So it is good to not just express your creativity, but also know the right timing to express it.[/su_note]
3. Unhealthy Competition:
This is one way to hinder success. We are always competing for one thing or the other. We often compare ourselves to others, forgetting that we all have different purpose and timing in life. Stop the bad attitude of always comparing yourself with others and trying to compete with them because you will be doing yourself more harm than good.
Your mission in life is different from that of others even if it looks the same. Would you stop your car in front of a building just because the house looks like yours? Of course, not! You have a destination; you have an address to your home. So why let others destination bother you?
If you have the attitude of competing against others, you will be going down the rabbit hole.
You will be filled with negative emotions like envy, jealousy, hatred, frustration, bitterness, depression etc. These negative emotions drain the positive energy you need to concentrate and work on achieving your own goals in life and becoming successful.
Embrace your uniqueness
The fact that the person standing next to you is breathing doesn’t stop you from breathing. That person cannot breathe in all the air, right? So relax, the fact that others are successful doesn’t mean that you won’t be successful too (even though for now, it seems you are nothing close to success). It is just a matter of time.
You have your own unique mission to fulfill in life and you are destined to be successful. All you need is to have a positive attitude, be optimistic about your life and work towards achieving your goals.
You don’t need to compete against anybody because you are unique and no competition exists in uniqueness.
[su_note note_color=”#66ffee”]IMPORTANT NOTE: Though, I must say that competition is not always bad. At times, you need competition to push you to uncover your hidden talent and bring out the best in you. This type of competition is called constructive competition because it makes you learn and motivate you to give your best. For example, if the best student in your class goes to the library every day to read for 5 hours, you might as well start the habit of going to the library to read for 5 hours too. Though you are competing with the best student, but you are not competing against each other. Take note of ‘WITH’ and ‘AGAINST’ When you compete with someone, you learn from that person and you become better (constructive competition) but when you compete against someone, you will end up with negative emotions and get worse (destructive competition).[/su_note]
Something’s is beyond our control. We can’t just control everything. The idea of wanting to control everything is witch crafting. You need to learn to accept the things you can’t change.
The more accepting you are, the more confident you become and the more your chances to success. Your attitude and perspective on life will change for good when you stop trying to control everything.
If you want your company to grow, you have to stop being the arrogant bossy leader. You need to understand that giving people the freedom to express themselves at work yield to greater productivity and efficiency. Of course, you don’t give your employee freewill all the time, that’s why you are the boss to make decisions. But don’t ever let your employee feel useless at work and be afraid of expressing their creativity.
If you want success in your relationship, tone it down a bit. Even a dog, though loyal, wouldn’t want you to control everything about him/her.
Nobody wants a controlling freak, your controlling attitude can disguise you as a virus to be avoided.
Stop fighting things you cannot change
If you want a fulfilling personal life, stop focusing on things you cannot change. You can’t change your height, so embrace it. You can’t change your race, so accept it. Your past can’t be changed, so move on. Having the right values and attitudes will boost your morale to pursue success and achieve it.
5. Dealing With Rejection:
We all have various ways of handling rejection. Our attitude towards rejection can either make or break us. If you are not mentally strong, rejection will obviously break you into pieces.
Rejection comes in whatever form, but it has the same effect of making us feel less valued, less important, and not good enough.
It could be that you have this great idea you so much believe in, then you decided to share it with friends and family for support and then you were told your idea is useless and worthless. It could be that you applied for an opportunity. You were confident you meet the criteria and then they throw the bombshell at you that you are not needed. It could be that you have this great crush on this person; you know it is not a crush, it is love. You summoned the courage to express your feelings to the person and the person says you are not their type.
Everyone will experience rejection at some point in life. For some of us, the negative effect of rejection is temporary while for others it’s permanent. It affects our thinking, attitude, and approach towards life forever.
So, what if you were rejected?
I need you to understand that rejection is part of life. Your attitude after being rejected should be “what next?” Dwelling on your rejection will make the situation worse because it can lead to low self-confidence, depression, loneliness, self-criticism, anxiety, self-harming behaviours, extreme sadness etc.
If you want to be successful, you don’t want all those negative energy around you because it will reduce your productivity and your willingness to work on your dream.
Tell you what? I always fight rejection by rejecting my rejection. I have a secret formula that works for me all the time.
My Rejection formula
R- relax your mind
E- examine the situation
J- Justify the action
E- Evaluate the result
C- Celebrate yourself (never talk down to yourself)
T- Take away the tension by letting it go (let the cup pass over)
I- Initiate a new line of action
O- optimize your self-confidence
N- Never Say Never (Never quit trying, Never quit hoping)
What about our attitude towards change?
Some of us are always quick to reject change. We are often afraid of change because we are terrified of starting afresh.
We won’t leave that unhealthy relationship because we think we are too old to start finding love again. Most often, we stay in that toxic workplace because we think no one is ever going to hire us. We let the fear of the unknown to overwhelm us and glue us to a stagnant position in life.
Most times, we console ourselves with this popular quote that “the devil you know is better than the angel you don’t know” Bullshit! Yes, I said, Bullshit!! Bullshit!!!
You already know a Devil will always be a Devil. You know damn too well that nothing good will ever come from the Devil, so why condemn your life to endless years of suffering?
I want you to imagine this
Imagine you were in front of a chief judge and you were presented two options. The first option, you will be sentenced to life imprisonment. The second option, you will be sent on a mission, if the mission is successful, you will be released but if not, you will be killed. What will be your choice? Your attitude will determine your choice.
I don’t know about you, but why will I have to choose life imprisonment when I have a probability of getting acquitted from all charges? It doesn’t matter if the probability is slim or not, I will take my chance. After all, nothing is guaranteed in life. If sentenced to life imprisonment (first option), it is as good as dead or better still, one could even die in the prison at any time. So why won’t I take the chance?
The same thing applies to your life, why will you stay with the devil when you have the probability of meeting an angel? Yeah, the probability could be slim, you might even end up with a much worse devil but at least you know you took your chance the first time and this will boost your confidence to take your chance again and again until you meet your angel and get what you truly deserve.
Don’t let your attitude hinder your chance to succeed.
Learn how to handle rejection like a pro and also learn to accept change. Life itself is a change! Every day is different and it comes with its own good and bad. With the right attitude, success is inevitable in life.
Success comes with change. If you are not ready to handle change, then you are not ready to be successful.
Most of us are just so comfortable and convenient with our current situation. We don’t see a need for improvement or growth. Perhaps, deep down, we know there’s a need for improvement and we desire a change in our situation. However, we have decided to accept everything that happens in our life because we are afraid of failure and we are trying to avoid disappointment, rejection and frustration.
We have made ourselves to believe that our situation won’t change so we have this attitude of “it’s pointless to desire a change in our life” therefore we are willing to stay in situations that don’t make us completely happy.
This type of attitude should be no no attitude for you. It limits your potential, makes you lack innovation and the drive to achieve success. Hence, it hinders your chance for success.
Get out of your comfort zone
It is good to feel comfortable with your life, work or situation but being too complacent will hinder your progress because you won’t consider pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. You won’t consider stretching your skills. If you remain in your comfort zone, you will not accomplish much in life.
You have to get out of that shell if you truly want to be successful in life. Great things happen outside the comfort zone.
Creativity flows only when you push yourself to give your best.
Complacent keeps you from learning new things, growing, thinking big, striving to give your best, maximizing opportunities around you, getting the best in life, and living the life you truly deserve.
Complacent turns you to a coward. At the first sign of a challenge or obstacle, you are always quick to give up. And trust me, if you keep giving up because of challenges, how will you learn and gain the experience you need to achieve and maintain success? Now is the time to stop the bad attitude of being complacent.
[su_note note_color=”#66ffee“]IMPORTANT NOTE: Staying in the comfort zone will deny you the opportunity to live the life you truly deserve. It is a good thing to always have an attitude of gratitude but never settle for less. Be grateful for where you are, even as you continue to pursue your life goals.[/su_note]
7. Approval Seeking:
Everyone wants to be applauded in society so everyone is seeking approval. However, constant seeking for social approval could also lead us to dig our own grave.
Approval seeking behaviour tends to make us forget how to live our own lives and we start to live others life. We place everyone’s opinion, expectation and desire above ours. Gradually, we trade our dream, goals and ambitions in exchange for approval. We don’t even know who we are anymore or what we want and we can’t stop this feeling of emptiness within us.
Approval seeking leads to stress, lack of confidence, indecisive, lack of fulfilment, reduce creativity, low self-esteem, insecurity and doubt etc. Tell me, is it worth it to always seek social approval?
You might want to argue that you don’t have the attitude of seeking approval, but in reality, we all have this attitude in common.
In as much as is it not a bad thing to seek approval for your work or idea or opinion, it is bad to always base your work or idea or opinion on others approval. You don’t have to be a slave to other’s opinion. You have your life to live, so live it because no one will live it on your behalf.
What if, no one agrees with your opinion, so what?
After all, that’s why it is your opinion in the first place. You don’t have to change your opinion or decision because others disagree with it. If you must change it, change it because you personally see a reason to change it and not just because you want to please others.
I recommend you read: What will people say about you? greatest dream killer
Most of us are always afraid of criticism. Criticism is the demon we dread to face so we are ready to do everything to please others so as to avoid criticism. But in so doing, we lose our substance and our essence that makes us unique.
Criticism is a blessing in disguise
Over time, I have learned that criticism is a blessing in disguise. It can urge you to rediscover yourself, stretch you beyond your boundaries and pushes you to discover your inner strength and abilities.
Walt Disney was criticized for lack of creativity. He was told he lacked imagination and has no good ideas. However, he pressed forward by using that criticism as a passion for revenge (success is the best revenge). Today, we all know of the Disney Company.
Therefore, stop being terrified of criticism; instead, learn to handle it like a pro. You don’t have to be always careful, and cautious. In fact, stop seeking to be perfect because life itself isn’t perfect. If life was to be perfect, death shouldn’t be an issue for discussion. Moreover, creativity and innovation are often born outside caution.
Do you have that idea you believe in? Common express it without fear. You want that thing, just go for it. Life is simple; don’t let anyone complicate your life.
Sometimes, the insult, hatred, shame, and reproach are the push you need to rediscover yourself, maximize your potential and be at your best.
It is a bad attitude to always seek approval from people.
Confident people are aware that they are not ice cream, therefore can’t please everyone. Learn to improve your self-worth and work on your insecurities because it could hinder you from success.
You might want to read: How to let go of the need for approval
It is always good to have confidence, but as the old saying goes, too much of anything is bad. Having too much confidence (overconfidence) could even be the major attitude hindering your chance to succeed.
Overconfidence could make you lose out of life’s opportunities because you are busy setting high unrealistic goals and expectations. You are impatient to properly prepare for a situation, yet you do not realize that you are not well equipped to handle the situation.
Overconfidence makes us believe in falsehood; we believe we are much smarter than we actually are.
Imagine you want to take a ball that got stuck on the rooftop, so you decided to make use of a ladder. You have successfully taken the ball from the roof of a 2 story building, and now you are trying to descend the ladder. But then, the ladder is shaking. You realize that you didn’t confirm the placement of the ladder (if it’s well placed on the supporting surface, leaning at a 75 degree from the ground) before you choose to climb.
You didn’t double-check the ladder placement because you were too eager to take the ball. Now, you have the ball, but how will you get down the ladder? The ladder is about to fall, and obviously, you are going down with it, and you will be badly injured.
Danger of overconfidence
Overconfidence makes us too eager and encourages us to set all our focus on achieving success without giving regards to the journey involved because the journey is as important as the destination.
Overconfidence instigates us to cut corners when climbing the ladder of success. However, we could eventually reach the top of the ladder of success, but then the ladder starts to shake because we never considered equipping ourselves to handling situation and challenges better because we were too full of ourselves. We won’t be able to sustain the success we have attained, and great is the fall (from grace to grass). And you know, the beauty of success, is to sustain it.
The higher you rise in the ladder of success, the greater your fall will be, if you are not well prepared for success.
Overconfidence attitude makes us close-minded. We are not open to learning new things, listen to instructions and improve ourselves.
If we want to be successful, we need to invest in our personal development and improvement so that even if we fall then (while climbing the ladder of success), the fall will have no to little effect because probably we are at the first 3 steps of the ladder. We would easily be able to retrace our footstep, analyze what isn’t working, and learn from our mistakes.
Not all mistakes can be learned from! Some mistakes are too costly and destructive. So watch it now, don’t let the attitude of overconfidence cost you your purpose or your life.
A girl told her parents to buy the air they breathe from her. Her Mum and Dad laughed at her. They were like “Honey, we can’t buy the air we breathe from you because it’s not for sale” The girl said “but I’m telling you it’s now for sale” They laughed again and said, “Honey, no one buys the air they breathe.”
The little girl stood up and went to lock all the windows. She went inside and took the powerful mosquito repellent her dad had just brought. Her parents had no clue what she was about to do but were watching her with keen interest. She sprayed everything, went outside, and then locked her parents inside.
Soon, the powerful smell circulated and her parents started coughing. They were having difficulty to breathe, but couldn’t go outside because the door is locked. They asked their daughter to open the door and she said “Are you ready to buy air from me now? I will open the door if you are ready to buy it.” They chorused “Yes! Just open the damn door.” The girl said “its 10 dollars per person”. Hahaha
Your attitude can make you achieve the impossible in life and break new grounds.
Do you know that your reality today is the product of your attitude? If you have a can-do attitude, trust me soon and very soon, you will fulfil your dream in life.
Don’t let bad attitude hinder you from success. Always make sure you have a good attitude, a positive attitude, an attitude to always fight for whatever you believe in and an attitude of not giving up.
Don’t let your attitude stop you from achieving your purpose in life. Take charge! Always maintain a positive attitude towards life.
Final word: Your life is the summary of your attitude. Don’t let your life down.
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Copyright by Ayobami Abiodun